I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize