She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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