you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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