I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
