She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
