I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
