bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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