Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize