Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
