why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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