he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
