Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
