do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
