they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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