She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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