he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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