When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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