Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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