You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
