it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
