Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
