nut hugger
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
