Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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