weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize