Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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