and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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