I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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