If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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