Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
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i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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