It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
