Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
