You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
