i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
