adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
