he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
