OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Best friends brother. Beat that.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize