I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
