I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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