I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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