You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
