He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
