Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i would one night stand the shit outta him
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
