doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
