There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
