the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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