That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
