Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and she was petting her beer can
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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