honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
