if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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