A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
