so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
