I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wish there were birth control emojis
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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