Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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