hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
