So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
