Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
