she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
And then he peed in my hair
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