Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
